"Locked & Loaded: I Had Surgery"

When I first got re-connected to my now husband, I was coming off of the cusp of an engagement being called off by my college boyfriend and I believed that all men were evil and wanted to only take advantage of love. Yes, I was broken! After being hurt and embarrassed by someone I thought wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, I was angry, bitter, upset and protective. I was protective of my heart, my feelings and my emotions. Believe it or not, during this season of my life, I attended sooooo many weddings because many of my friends were getting engaged and married around the same time. I would attend the wedding, be happy for my friend(s) while I was there, and yet leave feeling hurt that it wasn't my turn. Have you ever felt this way? Have you ever asked GOD, "When will it be MY turn?" Trust me, I've been there beloved and it's human nature to desire GOD to bless you like he blesses those around you.

However, I had to understand that the great part about my new season was that I was able to focus on me and GOD and building a stronger, more intimate relationship with him. My focus turned from planning  a wedding to making sure that I would be ready for the ultimate wedding day when Christ returns for his bride- the church. I fell sooooo in love with Jesus that I realized there was nothing he wouldn't do for me in his timing and in his will. I also learned that guarding my heart was my responsibility. The Bible says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." (Proverbs 4:23). Therefore, I really started to study that verse and understand the meaning behind it. I learned that everything we do, our actions, our words, and our thoughts, all flow from our heart. Thus, I came face to face with the fact that it was time for me to do what seemed impossible before. It was time for me to conduct open heart surgery on myself.

I started thinking about everything in my past that caused me to become entangled in relationships. I reflected on the security that I, at times, didn't feel my father provided due to him not being in the home with me. I reflected on all of the unforgiveness that I had towards him in my heart for not always being there or for not always saying what I needed to hear as a little girl growing up seeking identity. I also began to deal with the unforgiveness that I had towards my ex. I dealt with the anger and the hatred towards him, and my heart was instantly broken over my sin.

Beloveds, I have learned that the best way to crawl back into the arms of Jesus is to place your sin up against a HOLY, MATCHLESS GOD. Once I started to reflect on the love of Jesus and how unconditional it is in spite of my "mess," I realized that I had no choice but to fully surrender to him.

Therefore, I gave myself a reality check. In order to become the woman that GOD called for me to be, I had work to do. Additionally, in order for me to be a woman of GOD that the man GOD had for me would even want to pursue, I remembered a phrase from Maya Angelou and realized that I had to ensure that I was so consumed in the word of GOD, and have my heart so close to GOD that the man would have to seek GOD to find me. I began to read my word on a more regular basis, studying the scriptures and meditating on my devotions. I also ensured that I took FULL advantage of my quiet times in the morning with GOD. I praised and I worshipped with my entire heart and mind surrendered to the will of GOD. I worshipped through tears, through pain, through insecurities, through fear, through worry and through doubt. Eventually, I realized that as soon as I had finished worshipping and having a true morning encounter with GOD, I became so "light." My heaviness had literally fallen off of me spiritually and physically. I felt as though burdens had been lifted and my perspective had been aligned with the desires of GOD's heart and his will for my life. Psalm 68:19 says, "Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens."

I finally realized that in order for me to become the woman GOD called me to be, I had to be totally immersed in HIM and HIS will for my life. Therefore, the more time I spent with GOD, the more I desired him and only the things of him. I prayed and desired for my heart to be broken over sin like his. I also prayed for my desires to line up with his for my life. At that moment, my standards for a spouse were set around who GOD was and who he desired for my life. I knew that my future husband would have to love GOD more than me, meaning his relationship with GOD would have to be so solid that nothing, not even me, could get in the way of his intimacy with the Lord. I also knew that my future husband had to be a leader and be able to lead me spiritually. So no...the guy who just got saved last week wasn't going to work for me. Sorry, sir. I also knew that my future husband would exemplify Christ in his love towards me, his words, his actions and his deeds. Now, don't get me wrong...I know that men are human. Therefore, I wasn't seeking a perfect man because I'm not a perfect woman. Trust me...I am daily reminded of how jacked up I am and how much I need the grace that only comes from the love of Jesus! However, I knew that I wanted a man who desired and strived on a daily basis to be and live like Christ.

For only when you operate and move in the will of GOD will your plans succeed. Proverbs 16:3 says, "Commit your actions to the LORD, and your plans will succeed." Therefore, I wanted to make sure that I was doing just that! My heart no longer had to be locked and loaded with hurt, anger, pain and bitterness. My heart was now guarded in Christ and in knowing that once he brought me my husband, only HE would be able to give him the key to access my inner being.

Be encouraged beloveds! If you've lived longer than 5 minutes, I'm sure you've experienced hurt, pain, worry, doubt, insecurity and possibly even frustration. But I encourage you to shift your focus. When we keep our eyes on Jesus, his desires, and his will for our lives, and seek to have a personal encounter with him, we leave "light" and we leave with our perspective changed. You don't have to walk around "locked and loaded" like a guard dog ready to bite off the head of anyone who steps close. Engage in open heart surgery today, and surrender it ALL to HIM! I am convinced that you won't leave your encounter with him the same. You'll begin to see yourself reflect him more and more and more!

Live FREE in HIM!

"The Power in the Press"

Good Morning, Afternoon or Evening Beautiful People! It's an honor to be able to share with you again after the series of "Newlywed Newness."

Isn't it such a beautiful thing to see the success of others? When you see someone make history or accomplish a goal or even carry out their vision, it's beautiful and many times people stand in awe of what they have done. I often look forward to graduation season and back-to-school because I see many of my colleagues accomplish their dreams of earning degrees and moving into career paths. I also get super excited when I see someone start their own business or embark on a new venture. Yet, in the midst of celebrating these great accomplishments, how often do we reflect on what it took for that person to get to their moment of success? How often do we praise GOD for them getting through the press?

What is the press, you ask? The press is the "in-between" stage of having the vision and it being carried through to completion. The press involves the moments where details are addressed, rejection is encountered, and discouragement is knocking at the door. The press is also the moment where most people experience the most hurt, pain, embarrassment or agony because they are embarking on the unknown. They are stepping out on faith that what they can't see will be achieved. The Bible tells us in Hebrews 11:1 ~ Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Therefore, we must understand that faith is not always easy because you are reaching for something that your physical eyes can not yet see. However, when you align your physical mind to wrap itself around the fact that you serve a GOD who is able and faithful to do what he promised, you understand that your faith is rooted and grounded in the Solid Rock- JESUS CHRIST.

1 Thessalonians 5:24 says, "Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it." This provides us with assurance that GOD is faithful and will be faithful to perform. He is also faithful to complete the work he has begun in you (Phil. 1:6). Many of you who are reading this right now are in the press yourselves. You are enduring the "in-between" stage and you are facing rejection from people and even discouragement because you don't see any results coming from your efforts or work. You also may seem defeated because you keep getting rejected at every turn. You feel like every time you make a step forward and get your hopes up, you hear a "NO!" However, GOD is such a loving Father and such an omniscient GOD that he knows the plans he has for you and knows what is best. Therefore, if any door is closing, he is doing the closing for what GOD has for you is for you. Although your plan may look good to you, GOD knows all, sees all and understands all. Your life is in his hands and he won't let you fall. He loves you too much to leave you, forsake you or let you fail.

The Bible encourages us in Proverbs 3:5-6 to trust in the Lord with ALL your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Further in Romans 8:28, the Bible says, "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." Therefore, you don't have to feel defeated in the press. Everything that you are enduring right now is working together for your good. GOD sees where you are and has a divine plan for your outcome. Our job is to step out on faith, believe GOD's word and remain faithful to what he's instructed you to do in the meantime.

There is a passage in the Bible that many are familiar with which describes the story of a woman with an issue of blood. The story is told in both Mark 5:25 and Luke 8:43. The woman had been subject to her issue of bleeding for 12 years. In the culture of that time, her issue of bleeding caused her to be perceived as unclean and diseased. She had suffered from this and spent all of her money on physicians, but only grew worse instead of better. You can imagine that this HAD to be discouraging for this woman as she endured pain, agony, embarrassment from people whispering about her when she came around and people regarding her as unclean or diseased. Additionally, she had suffered from this for years, so she was most likely very discouraged that she may never get well as she waited for her healing. However, one day, this lady pressed her way through a crowd when she found out that JESUS was near. She pressed her way by crawling to avoid the shame that already existed from her mere presence, and touched the hem of JESUS' garment because she thought to herself, "If I just touch even his garments, I will get healed." The courage and faith of this woman is amazing! She trusted that the power of GOD was so strong that if she even touched something that was touching him, she would be well.

Her faith was demonstrated the most in her PRESS. She had to press past the opinions of others and past her own fear of rejection to get exactly what she needed from GOD, and she did! The Bible says that immediately her bleeding stopped and she could feel in her body that she was healed from her condition. Jesus knew instantly that someone had touched him because he felt the power leave from him, and when he saw her at his feet, he said, ""Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."

What are you in the press for today? Is it your marriage, your children, your future, your family, your body, your mind, your job, your healing,  your finances or all of the above? No matter what you're pressing for today, I encourage you to CONTINUE. Don't give up now because the Bible says in Matthew 24:13 ~ But the one who endures to the end will be saved. Therefore, we must stand knowing that GOD sees our need and will come to our rescue. He will give us exactly what we need. However, we must align our minds to understand that HIS will be done, and not ours. HIS plan will be accomplished, and not ours. HE has the final say and HE is in control, not us. Let's trust him fully with our lives today, and every aspect of our lives for although the press isn't easy...it's so worth it!

He has us in his hands beloved...and he won't let us fall. Let's rest at ease and in peace.