Curly in Corporate?

With all of the things going on in the world, I didn't even fathom the day when we would be discussing whether or not a woman could wear her hair in its natural curly state in the workplace without receiving reprimand from her peers and superiors. More importantly, I want to discuss the deeper thoughts that go on in a woman's mind when she feels more or less inadequate based on a certain hairstyle.

I went to the gym near my house one day and had my hair in its natural state which is curly and puffy. In an effort to be productive, I had my hair up in a high ponytail so that I could have it out of my face while I exercised. As I got on the treadmill to warm up, I noticed a gentleman walking by slowly who seemed to be gazing. I felt a little uncomfortable at first, but decided to put my headphones on and continue walking. As soon as I was about to put my left headphone in my ear, he made a comment, "I absolutely love your hair! I love when women wear their hair natural like that." After thanking him for the compliment and going back to exercising, I wondered if he would have responded the same way to a woman wearing her hair straightened or even to a woman wearing extensions or a wig. Though his statement could have merely been out of personal preference, I also questioned if the world often judges a woman by her physical beauty and even by her hair and the way it's styled, textured and tamed.

Is a woman perceived to be smarter or more professional if her hair is straightened or slick? On the contrary, is a woman perceived to be less professional or less educated if it's "big," puffy, and "large and in charge? But more importantly, the question I asked myself is if my OWN self-perception was affected by the way I wore my hair. Did I determine my value based on the texture of my hair on that particular day? The more I reflected, the more I realized that doing so would be impossible.

I remembered that the only truth is the Word of God. Therefore, when my thoughts start to tell me something contrary to the Word of God especially concerning my value, it's a distortion and a lie from the enemy. The enemy will make us feel that our value is in something external, but the truth is that our value was solidified when Jesus justified us by dying on the cross and making an exchange with us by taking our sins so that we could die to our sins and live in righteousness. The beautiful thing about the justification and salvation of Jesus is that when God sees us, he no longer sees our sin but he sees his son, Jesus.

The Bible is very clear about our value and how the Lord sees us and it has nothing to do with our appearance. In fact, in 1 Samuel 16:7, the Lord said to Samuel about David, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature... For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” Therefore, it's not so much about the texture of our hair or even the way our hair is styled, but what's more important to God is that our HEART is beautiful and kept pure. What is the fruit of your relationship with him? What is the evidence? Do you love others? Are you kind and compassionate? Do you regard others higher than yourself? Do you hold in value the desire to live a life that will give him glory and honor? 

One of the key ways to ensure that we are equipped to combat the lies and thoughts of deception, insecurity, and anything contrary to the Word of God that would come to attack our perception of ourselves is to use the Word of God as the weapon that it is designed to be. Hebrews 4:12 says,"For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." We are called to put on the armor of God and that involves equipping ourselves with the Word of God because it is regarded as the sword of the spirit. Ephesians 6:11 and 6:17 instructs us, "Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes...Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."

We must know what God says about us so that we can combat contrary thoughts with the truth of his word. Psalm 139:13 speaks of him and says, "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Additionally, Ephesians 2:4 begins with "But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us..." In essence, it's imperative to know that God loves you and all of you because he created you. His love for you is GREAT and it doesn't falter. His perception of you doesn't change based on what you wear or how you style your hair and most importantly, neither should yours. You are a masterpiece and were created by God with unique talents, skills and abilities. Everything you need to accomplish everything in front of you is already inside of you.

It is imperative for us to truly grab ahold to the love God has for us which was demonstrated in him giving his only son to die for us (John 3:16). The Bible says in Romans 5:8, "But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." The only way we can explain such a GREAT act and such an awesome justification and an awesome new life given through Jesus Christ is GREAT LOVE.

It doesn't matter if you wear your hair in a fro, a twist-out, bantu knots, locs, get hair added via a sew-in, or put your hair underneath a wig, your value is not found in ANY of these external demonstrations. God cares more about what's IN your head than what's ON it. He wants your mind to be renewed and stayed on him more than he wants to put any value into your latest hairstyle. If it makes you happy and you like it, rock it!

I do understand that there are some corporate workplace cultures and policies that have restrictions on the way you style your hair and I understand that you must do what you feel is best at your workplace while you are there to be compliant. However, I want YOU to know that whether you step into your workplace with naturally curly or straight hair, you still belong to the King of Kings and you are a beautiful, intelligent, highly regarded masterpiece! Own that fact and hold that in high regard as you hold your head up high to conquer whatever is or will be placed before you.

Being Black & Christian: The Taxing Tug!

There have been such a number of things that have transpired during this past week that have caused me to say multiple times, "Whew! Being Black & Christian can sure be taxing!" The act of juggling the dual roles of being a minority in a country that often times makes you feel inadequate, less than and unworthy while also assuming the role of a follower of Christ- one who desires and strives to display Christ-like qualities in their daily lifestyle, can often make you want to escape the realities of the things you see on the news and social media feeds. This week alone has been filled with news stories circulating of two African American men being arrested, one who is a realtor, while sitting in a Starbucks while waiting for a meeting. The craziness behind the entire story is that the act of sitting in a Starbucks while waiting for a meeting or waiting just because occurs all of the time. I myself have sat in a Starbucks before without purchasing a single item and actually studied all day long without the threat of arrest, and I have seen other races do the same.

After Starbucks responded with a video from their CEO and then announced that it would be closing down 8000 U.S. stores to hold a racial bias training for its team members, I was somewhat satisfied with their response but I still had questions. I didn't have questions for Starbucks specifically but I had questions around the entire situation and other similar ones. My mind started racing! Why was the police called within minutes of the men sitting down? Why was their skin seen as a threat? Why are we not welcomed in public places like other races, and why do we have to fear for our lives when the police ARE called and DO come to arrest? Why do stories like this even occur? As I reflected, I dealt with emotions of anger, frustration and a desire for righteousness and justice. I was reminded in that moment that there are two types of anger: anger of man that does not achieve the righteousness of God discussed in James 1:20, and anger that expresses God's righteousness. For example, God was angered in Exodus 32:10 because the Israelites were turning away from him and instead reverted to worshipping idols. Furthermore, Moses became angry when he saw the extent of the sin of the children of Israel and how they had turned from trusting in God and in his guiding in Exodus 32:1-20. Therefore, I realized that my anger against unrighteousness and lack of love and compassion was righteous anger. However, I had to be sure that in my anger, I did not sin (Ephesians 4:26). This meant that even though "I'm black and I'm proud" and I'm upset by the recent situation, I could not go to my nearest Starbucks and curse out the white cashier to express my misaligned feelings towards him or her and every other non-Black racist person while also pouring my favorite beverage back into their faces for the actions of a white manager in Philadelphia. It may sound dramatic, but our emotions can cause us to do some pretty irrational things if we allow them to do so.

Right when I felt that my heart could calm down for a moment from the Starbucks pandemonium, here came the Wendy Williams comment! Oh my! Oh my! When Wendy Williams made the statement about the Clark Sisters and actually questioned if they had ever gotten a #1," I was appalled that she would even think it was okay to say on the air. I felt the comment was disrespectful and disappointing because the Clark Sisters are considered Gospel music royalty and surely have earned more #1s than I can even count. They have won numerous awards, accolades and more! My mind started racing! Really! Why would a Black woman TV show host feel like it was okay to even attempt to "shade" other legendary Black women on her TV show, especially when the things being stated were untrue and ignorant.  Immediately after the comment circulated, Christians from all over the world, especially Black Christians, started making posts towards Wendy Williams demanding her to respect the Clark Sisters, to make an apology and to even recant her statement. However, there were other comments that attacked Wendy Williams as a person and even made comments about her sexuality and her marriage. I wasn't surprised by the comments because I literally saw the pull and the taxing feelings being exemplified as people felt they had to defend their Black Gospel royalty "for the culture" while also battling with knowing that they were called to be Christ-like in their actions. It can truly be taxing!

Initially, I felt like it was similar to being in a game of tug-of-war and wanting to pull for your team by defending your race while also standing up for the things of Christ. However, the blessing that I found in all of this is that it actually is not tug-of-war at all. Having a shared identity in race and being a Christian is something that is both beautiful and powerful. Being both black and Christian does not require you to shame your racial identity for the other when you are speaking out against unrighteousness or even when you are proud of the history associated with it because God cares about righteousness and also cares about the things concerning us. The key is to ensure that we are acting in accordance with God's will and God's word, and his word speaks for justice, righteousness, unity, and love for one another. Though our world can often be divisive and filled with racism, hatred and even bigotry, I am grateful that Jesus's life shows us that it's okay to go against the status quo and stand for what's right even if it's not popular. Though the opinions of the world may sway, and the Starbucks incident will surely not be the last act of racism or discrimination, and Wendy Williams will not be the last person to make an offensive comment about black Christians, I do know according to Hebrews 13:8 that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever. I am also confident according to Isaiah 40:8 that "the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God endures forever," and because of that, his word will forever be my guide.

Get Up Again!

As a new mother, I am often amazed at my son when he does just about anything but I am definitely emotional when I see him walking. The process of learning to walk was so beautiful to witness and yet also humbling. In the beginning stages, I would watch my son stand up from corners of tables or whatever he could grasp, and then fall down when he lost his balance. He would get up, hold on, try to move a little bit and then fall down. At times he would get discouraged and frustrated leading him to cry and lift his hands for me to get him from where he was and into my arms. He would fall, whine and lift his hands...fall, whine and lift his hands. One day, I decided that I was going to make sure he knew that I was rooting for him. I responded back to him, "It's okay. You can do it. I'm right here with you." The more I affirmed him, the more I saw him grab ahold to stand up and try to take steps. Gradually, his legs became stronger and his confidence grew and now our home is officially KJ land! He walks anywhere he can and tries his best to display his independence on a regular basis. It is truly a sight to see!


As a child of God, I realize that I am in a position where I too am like my son. I have attempted to do things and stopped out of fear, doubt, worry or insecurity, or prayed for things and stopped because I wasn't seeing the prayers being answered quick enough for me. I have also tried to step out on faith with somethings and when the strategy wasn't perfect, I would push it aside or no longer bring it to the Lord in frustration that it would fail. Have you been there?

We too must grab ahold to the mindset of my 1 year old baby. In Matthew 18:2-3, Jesus says, “Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. “Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." A child like mindset is one of wonder, submission, and trusting. Having faith like a child and becoming like one in humility allows us to truly trust God and know that he's there to care for us. As we are going along our personal journeys and learning new things, he is allowing us to experience growth through challenges. There are times where we will fall and not feel as though we can get up, but the Bible tells us several times in the Word that though we may fall or experience a type of failure, we have the Lord present to help us get back up again. 

The Word of God gives us substance to sustain us in the midst of our falls, giving us the strength to get back up. Proverbs 24:16 says, "For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again..." and 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 says, "...we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed." Furthermore, Psalm 37:23-24 says, "The steps of a man are established by the LORD, And He delights in his way. When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong, Because the LORD is the One who holds his hand." Isn't is encouraging to know that you're not in this life alone? You're NEVER alone and you're NEVER without an encourager, a supporter, a motivator and a helping hand. All of that is found in JESUS. He's such a good, good Father! 

There are several songs titled, "Love Lifted Me" with some focusing on the love of Jesus and others focusing on the love of a significant other or a family member or friend. But the statement itself is true indeed. God's love has lifted us from the depths of our sins and also has lifted us to keep moving forward and persevere while we're on this Earth. I know you may have held on before, stood up and tried to make a move, but fell. Guess what? Jesus is right there rooting you on and saying, "It's okay. You cant do it. I'm right here with you." His plans are for to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11) Trust him and get up again! 

Easy Like Sunday Morning...

There has been a recent wave of people proclaiming that they are "living their best life" and I am so thrilled when I see people posting pictures of themselves taking vacations, exploring the world, embarking on entrepreneurial pursuits, beating obstacles, achieving goals, and kicking down barriers. Yet in the midst of all of this, I wonder why it's more common for us to post the great days, the great moments and the great snapshots of our life without also boasting in the not-so-good ones also? What causes us to take several selfies and still not end up posting even one of them because they aren't as perfect as we would have liked. Or what causes us to filter the perfect moment, yet wish that the bad ones would instantly vanish when they occur to us. What happens when things aren't "easy like Sunday morning?" Have you ever became angry at God? Doubted him? Gotten frustrated at the way things seemed to be unfolding in your life? Or even wondered why it seemed as though you were a passenger on the "struggle bus" with no idea of when you'd be able to "unboard" this rocky ride? You're in good company!

It is without hesitation that I am 100% confident that all of us have or will face trouble. If you've yet to experience any sort of trouble or trial, do as my great-granny would say and keep on living. The blessing in trouble is that though it is inevitable, its effects are unimaginable. In John 16:33, Jesus says, "These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world." This verse is preceded by Jesus giving his disciples assurance that they are not alone because he has gifted us with the Holy Spirit (John 16:5-15). Next, he foretells his death and the resurrection (John 16:16-22), followed by a discussion on the power of asking all things in his name in prayer. It is so encouraging and humbling to me that Jesus took the time to encourage us as his disciples because he KNEW that we would face trials and tribulations, yet he gave us the victory to truly overcome everything that would come our way.

It is also so powerful that he spoke not as someone who had not experienced every emotion that we feel, yet Hebrews 4:15 tells us, "For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin." He's been where we are and he knows how we feel, and yet he sympathizes with us. The word sympathize means to show compassion, concern, and interest for a person and/or their circumstance. Therefore, he's speaking from a place of knowing and understanding, and responding with compassion. The Lord has shown us several times in his Word that he designed us to live in this world with dominion, with power and understanding that he has not purposed for us to fail. Luke 10:19 says, "Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing will injure you." Therefore, when we face trials, when we face storms and when our lives aren't easy like Sunday morning, there is one thing that we can find assurance in and that is the hope of Jesus Christ.

It is without saying that life is sometimes hard and can even seem unbearable at times. Yet, I am grateful for the present help and present hope of Jesus Christ because he never forsakes us and never leaves us without the proper equipment and weapons to accomplish the task and win the war.

In the last few months, my family and I have seen God bring forth promotions on jobs, layoffs from jobs that lead to entrepreneurial pursuits, deaths of family members and births of new ones, but above all, I have joined the sentiments of Paul in Philippians 4:11-13, and learned contentment. Paul says, "Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." In the past, at the end of my day I had become accustomed to trying to decide if it was a "good" or "bad" day. Now, my perspective has changed. When we understand that God intends to work every situation for our GOOD, no matter what it looks like, every day is GOOD. The car issue, the health issue, financial issue, the job issue, the marriage issue, the issue with the kids, whatever the issue is...is all working together for your good and for your betterment.

I can't promise you what my tomorrow or your tomorrow holds, but I can assure you that I know WHO holds it and he doesn't design any situation without the intent of it working for your good.